The Bravery

Saturday, March 31, 2007

~~3:44 AM~~

Hi world.

Don't cry because you feel like crying. Don't fall if you're feeling it. Just dont.

So looking back at the past of mine could be a very sad thing. Cause i'm young. Now, I grown up. More realistic, more trouble, more wild, more edgy, more boring, more adequate, full of life. Actually i'm pretty happy with my life now. I don't feel threatened, i don't feel insulted and i feel more open. I'm caring that for sure but i'm ruthless for all you care. Now, i don't jump on the hardwood floors when i woke up from bed. So this proves maturity i suppose. When people talks to me in a disgusting manner, i get very cross about it. So this proves straight forward I am. I don't play around the bush cause I know I just don't. Its just sounds too primitive to me.

So people, don't let your life be ruined by someone else's.

Bye.

a short description is better than points form. La.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

~~12:42 AM~~

I've been miserable lately. As for today, feel so confused. I still have not made up my mind yet. Thanks to my parents, I have to re-think about my choices of instituition. Firstly, i already made up my damn mind to go MDIS and study for 7 months as the course take up only that duration. Then after that, will go for NS enlistment. That was my plan. But after today, after mom blabber on my choice, i was once again confuse. Now she said that i should take poly or ite. Well, i did get to poly but not my course. She said that private diploma is not foreseen by employers. -.- she gets influence by my sister and all. Have they gone insane or what. I mean, have they really check on it on the 1st place? That certainly pull down my hopes and confidence. So my parents now do make a twist in their words. Then they keep asking me why never go poly and ask me what i wanna become in the future. For god damn sake, i've already plan it. I just wish they can just support me without those blabbering nonsense. So now, my mind is tied up. And dad said that I just go for NS first then make my damn decision. And that really pissed me off. And mom says i'm a person who have confidence but don't know how to use it. And she said something that pisses me off. So am I what she said is real?

I really don't know what to do now. thinking makes me more confuse. Right now, I don't have anyone to share this feelings of mine because people are very busy. And i really like to confide to myself. So do I have any future? I have to think all over again...

Bye.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

~~3:27 PM~~

Tell you what, i'm kinda pissed off right now. I don't know why. but lately, i've have this feeling angst of mine is outta control. So am i'm piss off at someone or am I just imagining things? but hey, i think its the 1st one. Cause you know why, i'm very dissapointed in someone. Someone whom I cared much and never thought things could go wrong. But yes of course, in the reality world, i'm wrong. I feel i'm so caught in the middle. Tried my best to do things right for the someone and then it get wasted. yeap WASTED. Like i didn't see it coming. For a moment I thoughtthis wasn't for real but sure enough it is. Aww. So Sad. Al is a loser. He didn't win. He does things crap shit that no one gives a fucking care. But so what. Of course i didn't care. Eh wait. I'm lying. Damn it. This is so so sad. I even lied to myself. Why? i don't know.

I always ask myself why i'm making so much troubles for myself just to make someone feels good and happy. Giving he/she what they wanted. I mean, I don't do things for fun unless its a harmless pranks. Don't people care a thing or two about me? Why my existence? Why help? Wy trouble so much? So many Why's and no answer to it. Really sick of this. Sick sick sick.

So does things happen because of a reason? yes they do. Of course that,I believe. Sigh. I don't wanna look back anymore. its too much of me to handle. I wanna be the meanier me. Mean than ever. SO how will that possible? I'll soon find out.

Bye.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

~~6:23 AM~~

Ok. Most probably people are still very upset about the outcome of the posting. I'm in the same boat as you people out there. even though I've gotten a course at TP, it still didn't amuse me at all. Anyway, i got a course in diploma in Info-comm. well, i don't seems a bit interested in this course. It's funny why i didn't get the internet and multimedia developement. and of course my diploma in leisure and resort managment has gone down the drain. and how was I to know that the 1st choice of mine was COP=12? ahaha. So went to appeal with the guys at TP. So if i get Internet & Multimedia Developement, then i would go for it. if not, high chance I would take up shatec under culinary skills. Was viewing shatec webbie and i saw the diploma in tourism management. But the course for one academic year would cost me a whooping 12K. That wasn't included the uniforms, locker, etc. As for the culinary skills, it cost about 7K. so i guess its okay. 3 years course. Anyway, I would rather do things that i'm very interested at. no point doing things that you know you dont fancy at all. Wasting your damn precious time. c'mon, we're not getting any younger.

So the dae result will be out next week hopefully. everyone is getting busy. so am I. But i try to make time for myself. ahh.. will be goin out with the guys tomorrow. then cafe del mar? woohoo. at last break free from work at stuffs. And i done my damn shoppin. total was $180+. so the only things left to buy is my damn sneakers and sennheiser headphone which i've been eyeing lately. cheers.